Bye Bye, Boys

Remember, that we are 5,189 miles away from one another. This relationship, this long distant thing we have going on, is something that you have to have a whole mind set differently than any “normal” relationship.  You can’t just complain or state things that are bothering you as easy as someone you date in you own place. I mean its not like you come home to them and hug them or talk about what’s bothering you.  In a long distant relationship you have to listen and trust and be happy for the other person.  I think that if you can get close in a relationship like the one we are having than you truly love that person.  The reason why is because you learn who they are on the inside. You get to see their heart and see things through their eyes…… if they are completely honest.

As each day goes by we are happy. We fall for each other more and more. The conversation reflects it.  We are three months into this and it seems to be working the way I suspected it.  At least we both agree that we are happy and it does go on……

I travel with my children to visit my friend and her family, 15 hours away.  We spend a week enjoying our time there. My boyfriend had travel plans, too.  He had been looking forward to a huge music festival in the next country North of him. He bought tickets and obtained a place to stay through the festival website.  He had been talking about it for weeks.  He arrives and finds the housing arrangements unsatisfactory.  He calls me in a panic.  He explains that there are 12 bunks in one room and he only knows his friend, the two traveled together. He sent pictures of the room. He also sent pictures of some large men whom he stated he didn’t know and were scary. He expressed anxiety over leaving their belonging and money in the room.  He requested that I help him reserve and pay for a private room.

I made arrangements with a nearby hotel and called my bank.  Since, this is an international transaction I had to notify them. All set. The hotel was told to excess the funds and he would stay for a week.

We did discuss that I do not want to wake up to another Facebook surprise in my face. He assured me I would not.

The week went along fine. We had all our usual connections and our long distant thing was going well.  My concern each day, we talked was I wondered if he was having fun. I wanted to hear that he was happy. He was. He and I had a interesting conversation during this week… He told me he wanted me to fall in love with him.

While out meeting some of my old friends for lunch I get called away, he needs my help the hotel didn’t process my debit card on that day I set it up.  The card is declined, of course  it’s Sunday here. I set it up again on Monday.

I get a 4 am call at the end of the week, its time to check out and the card is declined.  What is wrong with these people? Why don’t they run the card when told.  My boyfriend is very freaked out. He is being held there by the manager because of non-payment.  He is being told the police will come and he will we deal with them. Keep in mind it’s so early here, there is nothing open, for me to talk to anyone. I speak with the manager in this hotel, whom is a complete bitch to me and she is saying very derogatory things to my boyfriend while she and I speak on the phone.  Enough time has past that a store is about to open for me to send some cash to him.  The manager agrees to this idea and she insists that she go with him to receive it. There is a wait and she become even more agitated to me and him while we were on the phone.  After three hours the debt is paid. He is free to go.

He and his friends leave to head home I do not hear from him.

After the entire day passes and I sleep through my night, late that next afternoon I receive a text from him.  He is with his mother and using her phone to Facebook messenger me because his phone is dead. He had just spent the night in jail in that other country.

Every time there is some problem. There is some outrageous story about why is didn’t text me or lost money or is in trouble.  I vowed to be here for him to love him.  I am always happy to see him happy. He doesn’t say too much, he says he will explain later when he isn’t with him mother. The drive back is about three hours. I do not hear from him until then.

A few day later he disappears again from answering my texts. UGH, this is beginning to become a regular occurrence, yet again he has an extraordinary story. He explains he was at he police station in conjunction with the jail time after the festival incident.  There is an huge fine that each of the guys in the car that night needs to pay to make this go away.  It’s $4000. He explains that while leaving the hotel the driver turns down an one way street and is stopped by the police. It’s mandatory that you dispense cash to the officer on the spot or there will be other legal action.  Nobody had fine money. The police then searched the car and found …..yep that’s right ….. weed. Bye bye boys.

His choices should make me want to run away.  I rationalize our relationship. I talk myself into staying. I remind myself this is exactly what I wanted in a relationship. I wanted long distant, the attention, the excitement that didn’t include me that I get to see through his eyes. I get to believe this very hot 22 year old wants me.  He always says the exact right thing. So, this destructive behavior like much of his other choices, is an easy fix or me, so I help. I support him.

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