I Support His Choices.

There is a considerable age difference between us. Somehow it works for us. Everything about us seems perfect. I’m interested in what he’s saying and doing and vise versa. I’m learning to trust him. This is hard for me after my past with men. He spends so much time on me I wonder how he has time to cheat. He assured me I’m his only girl. I have no intentions of being his mother nor do I wish to belittle his manhood. I am supportive. Everyone must make their own mistakes to mature and learn.

The requests sometimes are demanding or overwhelming for me. Today’s is no different. He has a festival he’s going to attend and has an idea about making some money. As I listen, I am thinking OMG this is the dumbest idea he’s had yet. See, even though my feelings toward him are love I feel he seems very naive in many situations. My guess is most of the time he is manipulating me but I can’t tell the difference yet.

No one can be this naive or lacking in education or worldly experience, right?

The big idea is I send him $4000 and he goes to meet … who he calls the big scary guys that held his MacBook for ransom and buys weed. He wants to break it down and sell it during the festival. As I lie in my bed at 2:30 am and listen to this I’m obviously thinking, this will never work.  Many things run through my head I want to say to him.  I refrained.

of course, I get up out of bed at the crack of dawn and find a way to send it to him. Its already three in the afternoon over there. He get the money and  in a whirlwind of excitement tells the story as he meets up at coffee house to make an exchange. I wanted to send him so many warning about what to look out for and say. I refrained.

I get a few snapchats of a cup of coffee and some guy I don’t recognize.  After he leaves there,  the text to me reads, “He took the money and I will meet him tomorrow to get the weed.” My heart sank.  I knew we would never see that money or the weed again. Oh wait, there is always that under story.  Did he actually get the weed?

Closing my eyes I repeat to myself, “I support his choices, I support his choices.”


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