I reached into my pocket and put all the money I had into the envelope along with some stickers. I’m not sure why I even sent it to him. It took about a week. He was amazed.  He continued to admit his awe over me. First, the ticket and now a few bucks in spending cash. He questioned, “why?” I don’t even know why, I just did it.

I never knew how it was going to effect him. I never thought it would, to this extreme. The texting increased if that was possible. We never went for more than a hour without texting or talking. He had so much time on his hands.  It was 12-15 hours a day that we started to put into this but it never felt like work or stress. It was just good.

In the evening, he would get together with his friends and hang out. That was about four or five o’clock my time.  It didn’t matter because he made time to keep in touch with me.  The amount of attention was phenomenal.  I’m not jealous but I hate that he spends so much time running around town.  He hardly spent any time at home.  During our morning time text routine was about the only time he stayed home.

Until one day I received a special text, a selfie of him kissing an Xbox controller. It was followed by so many texts explaining how happy he was to receive this Xbox in the mail, “This is unreal!” I was so happy that a permanent smile was plastered across his face.  I think it was there for a month.  I just wanted him to have a reason to stay home and out of trouble.

It seems like every morning was another story of drinking and vomiting or parties in the woods.  Many of times he spent it in a casino or driving around some town getting pulled over by the police.  I can’t believe this is all his life has amounted to …

I would like to see him not feel the need to surround himself with this destructive activity.  It crazy to me that an exceptional hockey player’s, with a bright future, biggest plans are to not vomit this time.  If I were closer to him. I may be able to talk him off the edge of whatever mountain he is looking down from.

A while back I read this blog site about athletes, it talks about how many young hockey athletes identify as a junior hockey player and once they age out of that era they are left feeling worthless.  They can’t see themselves as a young adult who played hockey but as nothing more then a hockey player left with no more junior hockey.   Junior hockey is a special kind of beast, it is full of young boys being nurtured by loving unfamiliar families who have an empty spot in their families for another.  These boys enter into these homes and assimilate believing they are part of this family. This was especially true for him, for he just experienced something not a lot get too.  He and his team just won the championship game last season. It was his last season here, he ages out, now.  It was a whirlwind of emotions.  Worst of all this family allowed him to become infatuated  with their daughter and her with him for the entire time he resided there.  And even worse, half way through this season the lost of all he has ever known ie… this girl. She was his billet sister, friend, and girl friend. ( a billet is what the host family is called in junior hockey.)

The excitement of winning the cup. The sorrow of losing his team mates of the past 3-4 seasons. The uncertainty of what happens next.  The confusion of feeling tied to this girl, who has moved on to another team mate right before his eyes.  The worst part of this story was she wouldn’t stop hanging onto him. She refused to let him move on, too.

I coming out of the worst misery I have ever experienced and he living in a slum in a hell hole of a town with no real prospects.  This is either a match made in heaven or the biggest bomb waiting to drop.  I have seen memes that say, “One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all your broken pieces will stick back together.” We were definitely both hugging so tight, right now.

Not knowing a person true intentions with you is the worst thing.




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